The sacred vow of marriage

The photos on this page are from our wedding day. That is me and my wife, Elizabeth, and I still remember how sure I felt standing next to her. I thought I knew what love was. Marriage taught me I was just getting started.

Elizabeth was the first person to teach me about love language. I learned that some people feel loved through acts of service, others through words, others through gifts. Love looks different for everyone, and the mistake so many of us make is loving our partner the way we want to be loved instead of the way they actually receive it.

There are five love languages. Words of affirmation. Acts of service. Receiving gifts. Quality time. Physical touch. Most of us have one or two that speak loudest to us. Learning your partner's language is one of the most practical things you can do for your relationship. It turns good intentions into love that actually lands.

I believe a strong home starts with understanding your partner's love language. It grows from the foundation that sparked the relationship in the first place, that first connection, that reason you chose each other. And it lasts when you keep your vows to one another, not just the ones you spoke on your wedding day but the quiet ones you renew every morning in how you show up.

Elizabeth has supported me through my dreams, my aspirations, and my many trials. Through school, through the Army, through building this practice from nothing. There were seasons where I had more ambition than sense, and she stayed. That kind of love does not happen by accident. It is built, day by day, by two people who keep choosing each other.

Marriage takes effort. And the effort is worth it. I want my patients to hear that, because so many people come to me feeling like their relationship is failing when really it is just unfed. Love is not only a feeling you fall into. It is a practice you tend. Learn the language. Return to the foundation. Keep the vows. The growth that follows is one of the most healing things a person can experience.

So this one is for you, Elizabeth. Thank you for teaching me what love looks like.

Anthony